Watching the Loss of My Mom to Alzheimer's Disease

How did you first feel when your mother told you that she had Alzheimer's/Dementia?

I had a series of tests done on my mother at the local hospital I was working at. I was devastated when I heard the results of her tests. It took a lot out of me for sure. My dad took care of my mom for a couple of years but died after a massive heart attack.

This disease takes away a lot. What do you miss the most about your mom?

Her ability to listen to me and empathize about my situation and give me advice about what to possibly do. Her love for her family. Seeing the love between my mom and dad.

What sacrifices have you made to make sure that your mom has the best possible care?

At the time my mother had the disease, there were very little care options available to help her. This was in the early 1990's. She and my aunt, who also had dementia, lived together in her home. It was VERY hard to get people to listen to us and give us assistance. My husband and I spent our weekends there as much as we could. We were about 2 hours away from them. It was extremely difficult especially when there was a lady down the street operating a gang of kids who ripped off elderly people. I had friends who were on the police force who worked with me and did what they could to keep an eye on her. We spent a lot of weekends with them and any time my husband could get off from work. We had seven children at the time so it was difficult to say the least, to get there as much as we wanted too. My sister lived in San Diego so she could not do much to help.

Do you have any pieces of advice for new caregivers with a mom who has Alzheimer's?

Get as much outside assistance as you can get for your mom. Talk to your family members, doctors and a social worker as well. We had neighborhood kids who would take advantage of my mom by stealing from her and putting items they had stolen on her porch until they could pick them up. Her safety was always on my mind. And it is VERY hard emotionally for you to deal with. Get counseling for yourself as well. I was raising a family and it was VERY hard to deal with my mom's situation and raising my children. And remember, you are doing the very best you can for your mom and your family.